Summer is over and you are probably all wondering when you are going to get your hands on your copy of A Mighty Boy. The short answer is not for a while yet, I’m afraid. This publishing lark is a tricky business with long lead-in times. It looks as though the book will not come out until summer next year but I have no firm publication date yet. However, all those who have pledged will recieve their copies a month or two before it hits the shops.

In the meantime, I have been videoed for a multi-media article in our local paper and have recorded a short snippet for KMFM http://www.kentonline.co.uk/faversham/news/grieving-mum-pens-book-on-98971/ but more importantly, I have been making edits on the manuscript with the help of my editor, Phil. I have been sitting at my desk in the sunshine, surrounded by thoughts of Silas. During this time, I have also been listening to a beautiful song called Lost Boy by Ruth B (if you fancy it you can listen here) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58TBZnvyGwQ

In the book, I touch upon how, in those last few precious days with Silas, we read him Peter Pan. The opening lines “All children, except one, grow up.” nearly stopped us in our tracks but we perservered because we wanted him to find his way to his own Neverland. We recognised much of Silas in Peter Pan: his forgetfulness; his need for love; his eagerness to make others happy; his love of stories and his tongue in cheek sense of humour. So in my head Peter Pan and Silas will always be inextricably linked. This song has had me in tears as I think about my own lost boy. I hope that Silas is ‘hanging out’ with Peter Pan, somewhere….

I can’t believe we have done it – fully funded in just under two weeks – truly amazing! Thank you to everyone who has come along for the ride – thanks to you A Mighty Boy is going to be published and in the shops…..!

It is a strange feeling. My eldest son, Oscar, asked me why I wasn’t celebrating last night after we hit the 100% mark and the page lit up red. I tried to explain that although it is fantastic news, it is also bittersweet. It feels somehow wrong to celebrate something so tied up with Silas’s death although I know Silas himself would be whooping from the rooftops. Also, I know the hard work has to start now, the editing, the cutting and the general beating of the book into the best possible shape before publication and for me that means stepping back in time and revisiting emotions in their full, unadulterated intensity. So a deep breath is required…..

Meanwhile, I have spent this morning being interviewed and flimed by our local Kent Messenger reporter for the paper and their multi-media outlets. She asked me whether I hoped the book would offer “comfort” to others going through a similar experience. I blanched at the term “comfort” – the book is far from a comfortable read but what I hope is that it helps others feel less alone. Grief is incredibly isolating and there is no way of making things better and offering “comfort” in the conventional sense but you can help give people strength for the journey by simply walking beside them – letting them know that they are not the first to tread this path and won’t be the last. Grief makes madmen of us all and it is reassuring to know this is normal when you are lost in the thick of it. A friend, whose daughter died tragically a year after Silas, has said to me. “Sometimes knowing you are a few steps further down the line and still going gives me the strength to get out of bed on those days that I just want to stay curled up in a tight ball.” This is what I hope to offer.

So thank you to you all. Your support has been incredible and means so much, in so many ways. Thank you for walking beside me….

What can I say?
I have been blown away by the support for A Mighty Boy so far – 50% funded in just over two days. It has been a whirlwind! I only saw the video https://unbound.com/books/a-mighty-boy for the first time at the weekend and my feet have barely touched the ground since, although I notice the cat has still managed to cling on to a place on my lap!
If Silas was here, I know he would be craning his neck over my shoulder, his feet dancing with excitement as he watched the funding tick ever higher. His grin would stretch across his face and he would keep nudging me in disbelief.
So thank you to all of you who have joined me here in the Shed. You get a thumbs up from me and an even bigger thumbs up from Silas and a silly grin from both of us.